14 Comments

If It’s Broken… (Flash Fiction)

Big thanks to the lovely Priceless Joy for hosting Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers (75 – 175 words) and Scott from the blog Scott’s Place for providing the inspiring photo prompt this week. If you haven’t heard of or joined this challenge, please do yourself a favor and check out PJ’s blog for more details and entertaining entries. You won’t regret it.

~*~

Now to the story:

~*~

Something is coming. The sun hangs low over the horizon. Gust after gust, and a disarray of leaves. Thinning trees lashing out in the falling temperature. Horses and trespassing toddlers spooked by their shadows. The whole ranch coming to a standstill.

With an aching shoulder, Eugene had awakened in the hard rocking chair in which he’d been napping since breakfast. Turning off the drone of the local news, he had screwed on his hat and strode out to mend the land. Nine laboured hours bred fixed fences, groomed pastures, and triumphant foaling.

Eugene takes off his hat and scratches his sweaty brow, listening for Gertrude. She said she was going to pick up the mail early from the paperboy down the road. That was hours ago.

Leafy twigs soar through the air and slap the window panes around the house. Neighboring parents come fetch their wandering toddlers and don’t bother to apologize anymore.

It’s Sunday — mail doesn’t come on Sundays. Scowling, Eugene grabs his rifle and races off, searching for his wife.

~*~

(172 words — finally!)

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14 comments on “If It’s Broken… (Flash Fiction)

  1. Hmm… Where did she go? Sunday afternoon affair?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great story Izzy! You set up a very haunting scene with the storm going on, then the ending of it being Sunday and mail doesn’t come on Sunday, leaving us a mystery and wanting to know more. Excellent! Very well done. Thank you for participating in Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers Challenge! (And thank you for the kind words at the beginning of your post).

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Poetically entrancing! Great job, Izzy.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The scene was set up so well. The atmosphere contributed to the mystery of the wife’s disappearance. There is a sense of foreboding in the air.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great lead up to the unexpected! No mail on Sunday…did she just take off, or maybe kidnapped..etc. Great mystery! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Lovely tension created by the storm leading to a hanging climax. Where was she?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh goodness! This is spooky-ish in it’s descriptions and, since he has is rifle, it doesn’t look too promising if he finds his wife.

    Ellespeth

    Liked by 1 person

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