21 Comments

Our Sweet Adela (Flash Fiction)

I can’t thank the wonderful Priceless Joy  enough for hosting Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers (75 – 175 words) and Graham Lawrence for providing the inspiring photo prompt this week. If you haven’t heard of or joined this challenge, please do yourself a favor and check out PJ’s blog for more details and entertaining entries. You won’t regret it. Btw, this is also in response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Night and Day.”

~*~

Now onto the story:

~*~

THANKS, BUT WE

The crisp morning air bit Adela’s nose, but she pressed on to get the sauerkraut to nurse the Laskas with proper soup. After all, it wasn’t every day this sort of family hired someone from Adela’s village.

DON’T

Adela tucked them into bed and filled them with warm meals, funny nursing stories, and remedies created long ago by her grandmamma.

NEED

Mr. Laska and the kids sprang back to health as December became February. Determined were they to get Mrs. Laska better, too. All the while, the Laskas showered Adela with their gratitude and silly antics.

YOUR

February gave way to March. Adela imagined what the tweed of Mr. Laska’s jacket would feel like against her face if he embraced her — like he did with Mrs. Laska now that color was returning to her cheeks.

HELP

Adela stirred the potato soup and added a dash of cyanide. She smiled down at Mrs. Laska as the front door jingled. “Ah, that must be the children.” Her children, not Mrs. Laska’s.

ANYMORE

Today was so radiant, Adela had to paint it from the garden. Suddenly, screams poured out the open window behind her and nearly made her smear the red paint into her purple sages.

“Adela, Adela, come quick. It’s Mother!”

She set down her brush. “Coming, my dear.”

(212 words … darn)

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21 comments on “Our Sweet Adela (Flash Fiction)

  1. Very engaging and creative story ! Loved it! Heading to Priceless Joy next!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh no, Adela got rid of Mrs. Laska! She wanted to take over Mrs. Laska’s life. Great story Izzy! I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for participating in Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers Challenge.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Never know Izzy, one day you might actually hit that word target! Mind you, if that stops you writing stories as good as this one, I hope that you never do 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I was about to have some soup but I’ve suddenly gone off the idea! An engaging story cleverly formatted.
    Check out my FFfAW story!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hmm…might not have soup for a long while. Clever formatting and take. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. A very well told story, Izzy. I like how you build up Adela’s desire to become the new Mrs Laska and the lengths she’ll go to to achieve it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Nice twist! Who would have thought sweet Adela would poison mother. Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sweet Adela wasn’t so sweet after all. Great story. I saw something like this on a TV mystery show once, a long time ago. Very creative story.:)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ah, excellent (as always), Izzy!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Very enjoyable story with a great surprise ending!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Love the way her attitude seems to change over time, with the fear of “we don’t need you” running through her mind / the story as it goes. Very sinister!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Very well written, Izzy, with that attention-grabbing structure. Adela certainly knew what she wanted and made sure she got it. Mrs Laska just had to go! Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Oh no Adela. I thought she was going to lose her job after giving all that good care but she had something else in mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Hahaha,I guess I’m not the only one with a penchant for crime stories. Love it! I recently learned about how cyanide poison works at school, so it was interesting seeing you used it on your story.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I won’t be having potato soup again anytime soon! That Adele, hmmmm…she’s a bit only half there crazy and spooky.
    Interesting take on this prompt, Izzy.

    I like how we all went all over the place with this photo prompt!

    Ellespeth

    Liked by 1 person

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