20 Comments

Living Easy with Eyes Wide Shut (Flash Fiction)

I detoured from my dark Hansel & Gretel tale for this week’s Flash Fiction challenge (75 – 175 words). Hope you enjoy!

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A big round of applause for Priceless Joy and Dawn M. Miller for presenting this challenge and photo, respectively.

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Living Easy with Eyes Wide Shut

Her motherly fat suit consumed her once slim figure.

His Hollywood smile was now crooked from one too many fights.

Layers of foundation caked on her face.

His big belly hung over his old race belt.

She shifted in her daughter’s old dress and wiped her eyes, smudging the black eyeliner.

He sat beside her on the porch and ignored the sweat glistening on his receding hairline.

The wind chimes hanging above tinkled in the breeze. The melody lit up their minds, but their memories scattered like raving delinquents running from cops.

“I’m still waiting for that letter you promised.”

“We both know I would’ve said anything.”

“You used me.”

“You let me.”

“What the hell is this? Why are you here?”

“I was hoping you could tell me.”

(129 words)

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I didn’t add dialogue tags on purpose. I left it open for readers to decide who said what, then for them to go back and imagine the opposite. ^_^

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20 comments on “Living Easy with Eyes Wide Shut (Flash Fiction)

  1. Really excellent description of the characters and intriguing dialogue.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I really enjoyed reading this and like your idea of the open dialogue.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It was interesting reading it one way and then reading it the opposite way. When I turned it around the first thing I thought was, “Oh no! She’s pregnant.” LOL! Very interesting story!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Either way they are miserably happy with each other.

    Liked by 1 person

    • There are miserable and in need of each other, so that’s a strong possibility. Makes me think of so many songs 😉

      “Incomplete” by Backstreet Boys
      “Call Me” by Shinedown
      “Give Me Love” by Ed Sheeran
      “Clarity” by Zedd
      “Style” by Taylor Swift.

      Like

  5. Haunting. Bittersweet. Wistful.

    Truly a remarkable piece!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Great intro and lead up to their unhappy lives. I liked the open dialogue too and this particular sentence – “their memories scattered like raving delinquents running from cops.”

    Liked by 1 person

  7. A really well written piece, Izzy. The character descriptions are excellent and the open dialogue works very well. It drew me in from the ‘motherly fat suit’ in the first line! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The description you made of the couple is so good! I’m cracking my brain here trying to decipher who said what 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  9. XD Thanks! I’m thrilled you’re cracking your brain over it, too.

    Like

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