29 Comments

Don’t Let Them (Flash Fiction)

A big thanks to Priceless Joy for hosting this writing challenge: Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers. Another thank you goes to Phylor, for providing the inspiring photo prompt this week. If you—the lovely person reading this—haven’t heard of or joined this challenge, please try it out. It’s a great way to connect with others and share stories. Check out PJ’s blog for more details and entertaining entries. You won’t regret it.

*

Now, to the story:

*

The car skids to a stop in front of the convenience store. Sal yanks the keys from the ignition and grabs my arm. His eyes threaten me before his words do. Then he goes inside.

I duck down and play with my bangs, waiting. Always waiting.

Finally, Mr. Maxillion saddles up beside the car with his horse and big belly. I look at him. The horse. Him. A thrill fills me as he goes inside the store.

Now!

I draw out Sal’s pistol from underneath my long skirt and race towards the bruised horse. She’s spooked, but I calm her with my own shaky hand and quickly untie her.

Oh God, this is it. I hop on top, more than ready. But she won’t budge. I woo and beg and twitch. Please! There’s no time. My gaze keeps flicking towards the store. Tears well up. I kick her on her side and hate myself. Still nothing.

The chime on the door sounds. I jump off and bolt into the nearby woods. Alone.

*
172 words
*
I saw the photo prompt and thought of open cages. How anyone and anything can get so used to being tied down, that even when they’re given the chance at being free, they don’t know what to do. They’ve forgetten how to “fly” or “move forward.” It’s morbid, but a true reality for many. Whether that’s physical, psychological, or emotional. ||| So yeah, I’m off to eat a cookie brownie now. Keep writing, reading, and living.
Advertisements

29 comments on “Don’t Let Them (Flash Fiction)

  1. How disappointing for the brave, kind-hearted protagonist that the horse did not want to be set free! Animals that have been domesticated for so long wouldn’t know what to do with themselves in the wild. Great story!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Great story Izzy! That is sad that the horse wouldn’t budge no matter what she did. The horse was so accustomed to being “imprisioned” that he didn’t know what to do. At least she was able to get free!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great story, but very sad. I think the protagonist learned a lesson from the animal. She didn’t want to end up trapped and afraid one day like the horse. At least one of them was able to get away.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Oh no!
    I itched to help her push the horse into motion.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. A close horse-napping incident – how thrilling that would have been for her to ride off on the horse and leave it all behind. Great story, sad and moving and a touch of the surreal too. Good stuff 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. This was quite intense! Kept hoping for the horse to move before he came back! Could feel her frantic emotions! Very nicely penned! Great read! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh, I just read your message! I’m not an expert but sure, will help any way I can! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Very tense . I sure hope she was able to run far enough away that she can not be caught. Great story. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Great take Izzy. I liked your explanation beneath as well. Really made your story clear. I wish the horse would have moved, the poor girl really needed an escape too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • She really did. And it was hard for my MC to accept the horse’s “decision” to stay. To not force her will onto the horse, even though it seems it would’ve been better to run away together. But such is life. Thanks for reading, Mandi!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh wow. This is beautiful, intense and poignantly written, Izzy. I agree with you, some of us are used to being tied down as if we’ve forgotten that we’re meant to be free. It’s morbid, but a true reality for many.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I enjoyed this. I was mentally willing the horse to take off.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: