40 Comments

White Leaves (Flash Fiction)

To the wonderful Priceless Joy, for hosting Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers (75 – 175 words) and Dawn M. Miller for providing the inspiring photo prompt this week. If you haven’t heard of or joined this challenge, please do yourself a favor and check out PJ’s blog for more details and entertaining entries. You won’t regret it.

Without further ado:

“Lookit, I can fly.”

I tug him down from the bridge railing. He slips and scrapes his hand, and I cry out in pain for him.

He wipes the blood on his hospital pants. “Don’t you trust me?”

Leaves fall, brushing against us.

“Let’s go back before they sound the alarm.” Please.

He jumps up on the railing. My stomach lurches.

“You always have to see to believe.” He shakes his head and steps off.

“No!” I lunge for him, but his 155 pounds are too much for my 87. I fall over the rail, too. The shock on his face courses through me.

It hurts. Everything.

“Why did you do that?” He’s crying over me.

How is he doing that—sitting? I can’t move. It hurts.

“What happened?” another voice shouts.

“I-I wanted to show her magic is real. She g-grabbed me. I couldn’t catch her in time.”

“We have to go.”

“I can’t leave her—no! Stop!” A flurry of white leaves. So soft, they cover me.

I suck in air. Tired. No more pain. I think I’ll go to sleep now.

(184 words :-S )

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40 comments on “White Leaves (Flash Fiction)

  1. Many great lines here, Izzy, but this one is by miles my favourite: “How is he doing that—sitting?” That’s all it takes to show us how badly she’s injured and that he’s got away without a scratch.

    Wonderful writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love where you’ve taken this! Nice story 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The last line is so poignant.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is wonderful Izzy. Very powerful. I agree with Sonya, plus I really like this sentence, “A flurry of white leaves. So soft, they cover me.” That makes me realize she has died or she is dying. Very powerful. Great story! Thank you for participating in the FFfAW challenge! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is a very good story that conveys so much in so few words 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. […] you, Izzy, for inspiring Josh’s unexpected […]

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow Izzy but I like how you managed this tale and the twist in the end. So well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I like how you told your story from her perspective. So sad at the end. Good take on the prompt. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Aw, Izzy I love this tho it’s sad to think she has passed on.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I liked the story, but the ending was sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Beautifully written! The words you have chosen really makes this an inspiring story! I love it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much! It’s great how we both decided to take on themes of love, hardship, and believing (even if you can’t see the end results or the present moment is far from ideal). Of course, this story for my MC seems to come to an end, whereas yours seemed like the “end” of a beginning

      Like

  12. So well written, Izzy. I love the way your story builds up until the the awful landing, when she is fatally injured – yet he sits there, unhurt. It’s so sad that she died, when all he wanted to do was to prove that magic was real. I’m just puzzled by the word ‘Please’ (6th line).Should that be included in the speech marks, or not?

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is heartbreaking, but I’m glad you considered this tragedy from both perspectives, too. As for “Please,” it was the word she stopped herself from saying out loud. She tried to will him to listen and not go up on the railing. Thanks for reading and asking this question! I’m sure you’re not the only one who wondered that.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. A wonderfully powerful story, Izzy, with such a sad ending. Really well done. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I loved the dialogue! I loved the imagery and the emotions!! The soft, white leaves made me sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Beautifully written. Lots of imagery in this one and such a sad ending.

    Liked by 1 person

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