26 Comments

If You Really Loved Me (Flash Fiction)

I want to thank the beautiful Priceless Joy for hosting this Flash Fiction challenge for Aspiring Writers (75 – 175 words) and providing the inspiring photo prompt this week. If you haven’t heard of or joined this challenge, please take the time to check out PJ’s blog for more details and entertaining entries.

I’m sorry I never say anything back

when you come to talk to me behind the church.

You look beautiful with tears in your eyes. But I already knew that

from your wedding day. How’s the married life, by the way?

Please don’t cry harder. You know how flustered that makes me feel.

You shouldn’t have driven all this way.

I’m sorry.

I still have nothing to say. No, I can’t touch you.

Why are you doing this?

I’m sorry, okay?

I’m sorry you never reached out for me while I was living,

but now you cling to my headstone every day.

I wish you’d just leave.

I wish you’d put out that cigarette.

Stop saying my name and let me move on.

If you really loved me, you would.

(120 words)

grave

Google Image

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26 comments on “If You Really Loved Me (Flash Fiction)

  1. Wow! It really hurt to end it like this.. 😦

    Simple post with deep feelings. Well suited for this prompt. I enjoyed a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The ending is really painful! I enjoyed the conversational tone with a hint of exasperation. Nice work, Izzy!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautiful and heart-touching story. I liked the twist that the one that is loved is dead and the dead lover is writing this story. (I couldn’t tell if it was a male or female) Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So sad as if it is selfish of her to hang on!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Such a moving story, Izzy. I love the way you’ve written it as a monologue from the dead lover. I agree with Sonya that it carries a hint of exasperation, aimed at the lover who clings to the headstone every day. Very well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Holy hell, I did not expect that ending.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Excellent. This captivated me from beginning to end.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is a really moving piece of writing. I like the use of the voice of the dead lover and hope he/she is eventually able to move on. Very well done. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Excellent presentation of the story. Hopefully, she will come to grips with her situation and try to move forward.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. When I got to the end I had to read it again. Brilliant. So sad. What a twist at the end!! Was not expecting that at all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I wasn’t expecting that ending either (I mentioned this above to Francesca). Once the words were all out on paper, I had to reread it a few times myself. Thanks for reading, sharing your reaction, and showing support. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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