14 Comments

“That a girl,” He Said (Flash Fiction)

This is in response to the Flash Fiction challenge for Aspiring Writers (75 – 175 words). Thanks to Priceless Joy for this opportunity. PJ hosts this challenge and provided the inspiring photo this week (which I edited to fit my story). If you haven’t heard of or joined this challenge, please take the time to check out PJ’s blog for more details and entertaining entries.

Ducks

I should quit working at Knight’s convenience store, near Dred River, even though the pay’s fantastic.

The front door slams open. From the inky blackness outside comes a tall, pale blond in a black leather coat. I shiver against the cash register.

The blond grabs a blue shopping basket and smiles. I don’t. I haven’t survived this long by being nice. His gaze veers to a young brunette humming by the liquor instead.

Too many girls have gone missing, only to be found two weeks later in the river. Yet more keep coming here, alone.

The blond throws rope, duct tape, hooks, and a bottle of wine into his basket. He inches closer to her. The idiot flips her hair over her shoulder and smiles.

I scowl at myself. Don’t blame the victim.

She comes to me. I cash her out without a word. Before she leaves, she winks at the blond.

I clench my teeth and ring up his items. “Go easy on her.”

He sniggers and gives me $32,025.

No, I haven’t survived this long by being nice.

(180 words)

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14 comments on ““That a girl,” He Said (Flash Fiction)

  1. Chilling, Izzy, and one super-intruiging narrator. Fantastic pay indeed, but is it worth it? Love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my! She has survived for a very very long cost of living time! Excellent story!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Very creepy and it gives me chills as well. There are a lot of sick people in this world and in your story. Whose worse the clerk or the guy who is doing things? I don’t know.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I certainly think ‘he’ should quit. Any job seeing such is enough to turn a heart cold. Haha, your story really strikes a chord with me. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Really freaky , and I’m thinking that no amount of money is worth taking a chance that she might end up being a victim. When he runs out of nice and easy victims, being “not so nice” may not matter to him. Great story , and a disturbing one.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh Izzy I feel there is more to this tale than meets the eye. Enjoyed your take very much.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. OOh agreat thriller dark and who knows what may happen.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Spooky tale…twists of a dark mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Great one, Izzy! The inner turmil as well as the actual horror – well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. That gave me chills…!!😁 very good

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This was a chilling thriller. I was trying to read quickly to find out how it ended but didn’t want to miss any part of the story in the process so I read it a couple of times. Brilliant. When you first mentioned the blond I assumed it was a woman until I continued reading.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This is really well done, Izzy. 🙂 A chilling tale. You’ve created two very interesting characters – the abductor and the person who accepts money to keep quiet.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Very well done, Izzy. The tension you build up is excellent and the ending is decidedly chilly. Love the repeated line at the end. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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