11 Comments

Follow Me Down (Flash Fiction)

A warm thanks to Priceless Joy, for this Flash Fiction challenge for Aspiring Writers (75 – 175 words) — and to Vanessa Rodriguez, for this week’s photo prompt. This is a continuation of my dark Fairytale. The following can be read as a standalone, but if you want to read part 1, part 2, and part 3, just click on the links. ^_^

Title: Follow Me Down

Genre: Realistic Fairytale Drama

Series #: 4

Word Count: 171

POV: Alice

~*~

The subway’s exhaust fumes mix with the smells of wet plastic and burnt hotdogs from the vendors above ground. I wrinkle my nose and trudge down the last two steps.

There Hansel sits on that metal bench, brown eyes fixed on the same poster with a forest cottage. He’s more mobile these days, which apparently means more disappearing acts.

I slide onto the bench and brush his shoulder. His gaze lingers on that stupid poster. I hate that thing. I promise those forest rabbits are staring back, but that’s crazy, right?

I sigh. “You know Gretel gets worried if you’re away too long.”

The subway screeches on the track behind us.

Hansel glances over. “Was she the only one worried?”

My breath hitches, catching in my throat.

Something white flashes on my left. I turn but only see a black bird hunting down crumbs.

“Don’t follow it, Alice.”

I whip around to face Hansel. “E-Excuse me?”

He slowly tucks my hair behind my ear. “The white rabbit. Don’t ever follow it.”

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11 comments on “Follow Me Down (Flash Fiction)

  1. Nice, fairytale characters in the real world. I like it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reminds me of Once Upon a Time the way you are mixing fairy tales. It’s very effective and I love the last line about never following the white rabbit.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great story! Love how you are using fairy tales to weave different stories. Loved how this one ended,”Alice.. don’t follow the white rabbit.” Excellent!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great Job revamping story book characters. Very funny. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Awesome urban fairy tale 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I like how you set up the setting in the beginning. This also reminds of fairytale retell the way the characters are in an urban setting.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Interesting way of telling the story. Held my attention all the way. well written

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Is the forest poster bringing back bad memories? I too loved your last line.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hmmmm…….this is nicely done. Its giving me ideas.Thanks Izzy

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I wonder whether she’ll remember his words when she sees the white rabbit again. 🙂 Great continuation.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Descriptively written Izzy, with your usual flair for the fairytale element. The ending of this episode suggests we might see more of the white rabbit in future. Well written.

    Liked by 1 person

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