A big thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields and David Stewart for this photo prompted challenge for Friday Fictioneers (100 words or less). This is my first post into the weekly event, so I’m excited to merge this flash fiction with my own Friday feature (Speak Up! Friday Quotes) where I bring up topics that I believe need to be discussed (previous posts touched on microaggressions — wanting to be happy — truth being stranger than fiction — sexism and violence against men).
What I Mean to You
While the orchestra played in Tae-kyung’s gazebo, Natalie picked out the old geezer in the crowd sitting in lawn chairs.
She smoothed a wrinkled hand down her long sleeveless dress, took a deep breath, and sat beside him. The orchestra performed outside every Friday. Last week, Tae and Natalie had promised to never meet again. Yet here she was.
He pressed his shoulder against hers and caressed her knee. A thrill ran through her, but a frown settled on her shriveled lips. His wife, her best friend of sixty years, was too busy playing the clarinet to notice.
(98 words)
An interesting twist on a timeless story. I fell into thinking Natalie was younger and a con, only to see that they were both older and living the oldest lie in the books. The only thing that threw me off was figuring out that Tae was not only Natalie’s lover and her best friend’s husband, but the owner of the gazebo as well. That confused me– I had to untangle it a bit.
Welcome to Friday Fictioneers, Izzy. It’s utterly addictive, but in a good way. 😉 Nice job weaving an entire story in 98 words.
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Thanks! You put it perfectly with Tae and Natalie being old and living the oldest lie in the books. Yep, Tae is all of the above (owner of the house, the gazebo, and both women’s hearts). I chose infidelity as this Friday’s topic, but I wanted to put in a few twists.
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This was excellent Izzy! I thought the ending was great (and funny) for a couple of old geezers. 😀
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Ohhh Nice twist! Love it! I love the Friday Fictioneers, too. I get sucked in to reading them all 🙂 Not many stand out but yours sure did.
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This is a really good story with a great twist. I get a real sense of her guilt at the long term affair – the way they try to end it and her frown at his touch. I love the description of her ‘shrivelled lips’. Well done. 🙂
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Well, it seems we have the ‘eternal triangle’ here. I feel sorry for Tae having a wife so preoccupied with her clarinet but, at the same time, he’s lucky having Natalie to stick by him. Natalie and Tae seem to make a lovely couple. Nice touch with the wrinkled hand smoothing down her dress. A very sweet story, Izzy, and well written. 🙂
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Nice, complex story in so few words – well done!
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Dear Izzy,
Some songs never get old, do they. Magical music still thrills. Welcome to the party, pal.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Izzy,
Welcome to Friday Fictioneers with your well layered and timeless piece. You’ve put an entire novel in your hundred words. I look forward to reading more from you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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[…] Today, I nominate Izzy from Izzy-grabs-life. […]
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Hi Izzy, I’d like to nominate you to join the Five Photos, Five Stories challenge: https://sonyca.wordpress.com/2015/03/29/yellow-car/
Please don’t feel like you have to do it if you’d rather not join, though.
(the rules: The Five Photos, Five Stories Challenge rules require you to post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo. It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or simply a short paragraph – it’s entirely up to you. Then each day, nominate another blogger to carry on this challenge. Accepting the challenge is entirely up to the person nominated, it is not a command.)
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Great twist at the end. At first I was thinking that Natalie was a young woman until I read the wrinkled hand part. I like the way you’ve entwined the flash fiction with your Speak-up Friday post.
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Nice twist!
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I too was a it led astray as to Natalie’s age (I think it was referring to Tae as an Old Geezer), but otherwise you tell a great story here. Tae sounds like an old dog.
Well done.
KT
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