At the Beginning | Memories Part I & II (Flash Fiction)

It’s my pleasure to thank Priceless Joy for this photo prompted Flash Fiction challenge (75 – 175 words). And a big thanks to Vanessa Rodriguez for the second photo. This is a continuation from last week’s prompt, but both pieces can be read as standalones.

I Can Fix This . . . (Hansel’s POV)

I’d truly believed life would only get better when Gretel and I returned to our cottage with the witch’s fortune and found our wicked stepmother had passed away. But our papa wasn’t the same man we’d known.

One week, two weeks tops. That was how long I was giving the brute to drink and gamble the last of our pearls and stones. Gretel tried to convince me that things would get better someday. She’d even had the nerve to whisper that when Papa threw us down into the cellar and locked us in the darkness. She could lie to herself, but I’d sensed that she’d finally given up hope, too. We should’ve left a long time ago. It was my fault we hadn’t. That’s why I have to fix this. That’s why I have to kill Papa.

(137 words)


What’s Eating Hansel? . . . (A time skip to Alice’s POV)

Hansel would come downstairs the day Gretel assigned me to towel duty. Blushing, I managed another sloppy folding as Hansel limped onto the stool on the opposite side of the counter.

That nasty wound on his forehead still looked red and swollen.

It’d been a blessing when these siblings moved into my neighborhood and needed any help they could get. But they were strange. Unworldly. Too secretive.

“Y’re doing it wrong,” Hansel croaked.

I gaped. I’d never heard him speak before.

“Are you that incompetent?”

My lip curled. I opened my mouth but then noticed Gretel hanging in the doorway, wide-eyed.

Hansel frowned and looked over. His expression fell flat.

He pushed off the stool and headed for the stairs, gripping the edge of the counter, then the stair rail for balance.

Gretel followed him, whispering fiercely. He jerked away from her and stumbled a step. Gretel gasped and caught his elbow.

No “thank you.” The jerk just yanked his arm from her hold and glared.

I rolled my eyes when he slammed his bedroom door like a child.

(179 words)

20 comments on “At the Beginning | Memories Part I & II (Flash Fiction)

  1. Oooh, interesting. So, has he killed his father in the second one? Or are they still plotting? Are you going to continue this?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Excellent writing! I like the different POV’s. Very interesting!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is very well done, Izzy. The two parts of the story work really well with the two POV’s. I love the two different settings, too. I’ll look forward to finding out what happened to Papa, and what’s eating Hansel up at the moment. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s very good. Will there be more?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Very intense between their relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Nicely done, and I’m looking forward to what happens next.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m looking forward to finding out what happens next too. Great writing and interesting reading from the different point of views.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. […] And thanks to pixabay.com for the free photo. This is a continuation from this prompt and this one, but all of my pieces can be read as […]


  9. Izzy, it’s a joy to have you part of the FFfAW challenge writing group. I am so pleased you are part of the group. I love reading your wonderful stories – your love for writing is obvious in your stories and why they are so excellent. Thank you for continuing to participate. I hope you will continue and I look forward to reading your future stories. ((Hugs)) PJ

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Whoa Hansel is such a strong character I want to know what’s up his sleeve. Love the two POV and I can’t wait to read what’s next. Great story! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. […] my dark Fairytale. The following can be read as a standalone, but if you want to read part 1, part 2, and part 3, just click on the links. […]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: