22 Comments

Flash Fiction: Now or Never

In response to Priceless Joy’s photo prompted Flash Fiction challenge (75 – 175 words). An extra special thanks to PJ for the marvelous photo, too.

The air around him vibrated. Today was the day.

‘I will talk to him.’

He squeezed through the crowd loitering in front of her apartment building and glanced over. Her throat tightened. A small, fleeting smile graced his face.

Her heart raced after him. She couldn’t do this anymore. She placed her book down and shot to her feet. scenic walk

He strolled into the park. Golden rays of sunlight filtered through the trees and highlighted his every step. The barking dogs, squealing kids, and couple-ly couples — none of them mattered. He was only a few yards away. She picked up her pace. But he stopped and put his hand on some girl’s arm. They smiled at each other.

‘Fool!’ She blushed and whipped around, heart melting and hardening like steel. How could she let herself believe—

Rushing feet sounded from behind. Her pulse ramped up again.

A little boy sped past with a red balloon wisping in the breeze. It wasn’t him.

She laughed at herself, feeling more deflated.

“That little thief,” a soft, deep voice said from behind her. “That balloon was meant for you.”

(186 words ^_^)

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22 comments on “Flash Fiction: Now or Never

  1. Clever story and you’ve left me wondering who the mystery man is! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It was him after all! Yay! He came through for her. Great story!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Aww! It’s so cute. I love the last night ” that balloon was meant for you” it just ties everything up together so nicely. Great story.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Cool story! I couldn’t stop reading. I was intrigued. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Two twists at the end! I wonder if it’s him or somebody else. I love this line: “heart melting and hardening like steel”. Great work!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. A nice ending! I like the way you carry us along with your character’s fluctuating hopes – and the little boy running off with the balloon was a clever touch. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Nice take on the prompt… fast paced and romantic, with a couple of twists to tease the reader… good job! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Awww poor girl, but I’m glad it worked out for her. I almost felt like she’d been pining after him for some time.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Both of them have been pining after the other one for way too long. It was time to make a move. When he noticed that she was shaking up their routine by following him, he got nervous. He kept walking and thinking, but he still couldn’t come up with what he would say to her (he wanted to impress her).

      In the park, he came across another girl with a lot of balloons behind her. He paid to have her little brother deliver a balloon to his crush.

      Meanwhile, his crush had such a tunnel vision that she didn’t notice the balloons. All she saw was the guy putting his hand on the other girl’s arm. Talk about a misunderstanding; but it all worked out 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Great story. I loved it – the jittery nerves, suspense, ups and downs and then a happy ending. What he says at the end is perfect.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Loved this “a red balloon wisping in the breeze…” what a great image. Never trust a child to bring a balloon to someone else 😛
    Ellespeth

    Liked by 1 person

  11. A brilliant take ~ Leaving many strands of the story to pick up ~ Well written ~ 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Awww, such a sweet story. Ah! I can imagine how she felt at first, when she thought he liked the other girl. I’m glad it all worked out 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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